Of Sake and Peanuts
by Inuchemist10
Summary: Inuyasha, Miroku, Kagome and Shippo are with out Sango for a few days, one of said days is the night of the new moon. Inuyasha gets a little loose tongued after drinking Master Mushu's Sake and Kagome learns a few things about the Hanyou!


Sake and Peanuts

Authors notes: In light of something my friend said, I got this muse…_"She's so tight, a peanut would feel good." BKP_

_Diclaimer: I don't own or profit from these characters Rumiko Takahaishi is the master…However, I do enjoy playing with cute, fuzzy dog ears …_

_Rt: T-M for Inuyasha's potty mouth and innuendos._

Kagome could not believe just how much a little sake could loosen Miroku's tongue, let alone a human Inuyasha. Of course _she _was stuck with the two idiots for the whole damned moonless night. It was a bad mix from the start, one sensible girl and two brainless boys. Sango had returned to her village to repair her hireikotsu, as it was nearly split into two after a nasty demon extermination. Even if Sango was to stay up all night fixing the bone boomerang, Kagome thought the other young woman was lucky; because she wasn't sitting in the middle of the woods with wasted men. And so the night began with Miroku offering the remaining members (other than Shippo) some of the stash of sake he had recently received as a gift from his Master.

At first she thought that Miroku's Masters' sake would simply tire Inuyasha out, leaving him no choice but submitting to a mortal's slumber. However, that was clearly not the case and she wondered if Master Mushin put some other type of 'supplement' in it- one that caused people to act like complete and utter fools. She couldn't say they were awfully loud, but they were certainly having strange conversations which consisted of disgusting male habits, bowel movements and wearing a fundoshi- which was where the two were currently at in their conversation.

Kagome sighed, glancing down at a sleeping Shippo in her sleeping bag as Miroku explained the principal of wearing a fundoshi. She moved her eyes to Inuyasha, who sat cross-legged, across from Miroku. His face was illuminated by the soft glow of the fire and clearly his cheeks were red from the alcohol. If he were in his hanyou form, it would have taken more than 3 cups of sake to intoxicate him. That wasn't the case as of this point. He was listening to Miroku (which was surprising in itself) but he looked- amused, almost to the point of smiling. Yes, smiling in his human form! That wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to be cranky, brooding-

"Keh, I don't need to wear one of those things, their just a pain in the ass."

Kagome's thoughts were abruptly cut off as she heard Inuyasha's voice. Miroku seemed to smile at the hayou-turn-human's comment.

"Really? I always thought that you did, though I never have seen you take one off at the springs."

Were they seriously going to _go there_ with her around? Had they forgotten that she and the little kitsune were among them, or did that also slip both of the moron's minds?

"I haven't worn a fundoshi since I was a kid. When I turned eleven I started growin'…you know, hair everywhere and all- and it got too uncomfortable. I one day I went huntin' out in the woods and it was one of those fuckin' unbearable hot days and when I went to bathe, I had a fuckin rash all over my dick from the fuckin thing! Even as a hanyou, it took me three days to get rid of it! So I tore the damn thing up and never wore one again." Inuyasha explained.

Kagome's could not stop the flush she suddenly felt. Oh, it really was going _there _wasn't it, and of course Inuyasha had to be the one to bluntly add the conversation. She snorted to herself, was she noted that Inuyasha hadn't even glanced over in her direction. She wanted to smack him up side is human head. If he had been hanyou, he would have smelled the changes in her scent, along with her sudden embarrassment. She never really thought about whether he wore a fundoshi; it really wasn't something she thought about in general. But then again, Inuyasha in a fundoshi might be appealing, wait a second…why was she thinking about that?

She was the sober one here!

"I have gotten used to wearing one." Miroku chided. "But, my friend I have to say the ladies like it. It's like a gift that all wrapped up for them, just ready to be open."

If Kagome would have been drinking something, she would have just spit it out her nose. The monk really was a pervert! Surely Inuyasha would drop the conversation now, he never talked about women and he never seemed interested in talking about women in regards to himself- because he had no experience to start with.

"Feh, right you fuckin' lech, I knew you'd say something like that. I don't need some woman unwrapping me…she gets what she gets, if it don't scare her off, I am hanyou and we're made different than humans." Inuyasha pointed out as a matter-of-factly.

Why was he being so…so calm about this? So nonchalant? And just who in the hell was he referring to! Kagome would never turn him away because he was a hanyou!

"In what matter, Inuyasha? You not insinuating you equipped like a dog are you?" Miruko snickered, effective earning a scowl from the other dark haired man.

"I ain't sayin' that, bouzu. I'm just sayin' I am different…I have a human's body, you ass. And's so is my dick, it's just bigger than you weak human's. So it would only make sense that a female in her right mind would run to the hills after seeing what I got."

Okay, now Kagome was going to have to make herself be known, because that was something she really didn't need to know…simply because now, she was going to have to return to her time more often to relieve the ache she felt between her legs because of the stupid hanyou, with normally cute dog ears. Now, because he so blatantly told pervert of a monk he has a huge dick, a dick that she secretly wanted to explore and tease and…

Could she possibly leave now?

"Kagome would not run from you Inuyasha, and if she wasn't sleeping, I'd say she would agree. After all she is quite something."

Now this time Kagome didn't miss the blush that crept up on Inuyasha's face that went all the way to the tips of his human ears. So they thought that she was asleep that made a little more sense. The idea of her hearing anything Inuyasha had to say on the subject was not something he would freely allow. Was Inuyasha going to further comment on Miroku's keen sense of intuition?

"And just what the hell are you sayin' bouzu? Are you insinuating that Ka-Kagome…is lusting after me? And even so… how the hell do you fuckin' know that? Does she talk to you or something? Cos' I don't want you puttin' and ridiculous ideas in her skull. She's got enough on her own, the crazy wench. I _know_ what she is feelin' all the time, I can smell it remember? And I ain't ever smelled her like that…not around me. She usually smells…sweet, like a flower, not a breedin' bitch." Inuyasha babbled.

It was the way he sped up the subject that made Kagome question just how much of that was the truth. She could recall many times where she felt aroused by something Inuyasha unconsciously did. For instance, sometimes when he carried her on his back, his fingers would slide up her thighs from the movements of his feet when he ran, or accidentally cup her ass when she slid down, and he was adjusting her, clearly not realizing his movements. Or there was that one time she woke up abruptly from a dream that probably made her orgasm while she slept; and the first thing she saw were the curious gold, molten eyes of Inuyasha himself. That was when she backhanded him from sheer shock. There was no way in the seven hells, he didn't smell her arousal then!

"Somehow, I think you not telling the complete truth, Inuyasha. It's written all over your face. I don't have a keen sense of smell and I can surely tell when Sango is ready." Miroku waggled his dark eye brows humorously.

"It's just us; on a night like this…I won't tell her anything I swear." He offered, watching Inuyasha have an internal debate with himself. Kagome shifted her eyes between the two men, her heart pounding as she anticipated Inuyasha's impending answer, whatever it was.

Inuyasha sighed, brushing a hand though his ebony hair. His grey eyes narrowed when he looked over at Miroku who was also waiting for an answer. But then his eyes shifted to Kagome (who shut her eyes as quickly as she could) where she noticed they softened a bit, before she was forced to close he own. Even as her eyes were closed, she felt his still on her.

"She'd kill me if…she knew what I am about to say…or sit me to death. Can't believe I am even going there with you, monk…but I guess…I can't lie to you." Inuyasha sighed. Kagome cracked an eye open to see that he was again focused on Miroku.

"There are sometimes…when I can smell her…it's not a lot, which means she's not a complete pervert like yourself, and it's completely random…seems to be more frequent after her bleeding time…but then there was this one time…" Inuyasha suddenly became shy. Kagome was sure he was going to tell Miroku about the time she woke up and slapped him.

"…there was this one time…I went to get her, well I didn't actually get her because I was too fuckin early, but…I went to her window like a normally do. At first I thought she was sleeping… because her room was dark and all…I was about to leave when something caught my eye…um…well…she was in her bed with the cover's on and all…but I could see that her knees were bent up, ya' know like when they are going to receive you…an' there was movement and all…like her arm was flappin' or something. I got worried because her head was movin' back and forth and shit, and I thought she was possessed! I opened the window a little an' her scent alone nearly knocked me off her window sill! It was…fuckin' the most wonderful smell I have ever scented…like flowers and stuff…spicey and musty all at once…but the arousal scent, that one makes any demon insane with want…like ya want to instantly fuck her senseless. But since I am part human, I don't get that bad…well anyway…she-she…said…my…name…"

Miroku looked as if he at some form of enlightenment, while Inuyasha looked as pale as a sheet. Kagome was mortified enough to know that he had caught her masturbating in the first place, but why did he have such a look on his face? It was as if he was suddenly struck with either sadness or pain. Was he now ashamed of her? Offended in some sort of way?

"So what I get is that you caught Kagome pleasuring herself, with you in her thoughts? So you have known for quite some time how she feels...yet you have not acted on a single thing…why? I have even taken the opportunity to get to know Sango and she quite enjoys me, and that makes me happy…but don't tell her I told you, or Kagome. It's something we would like to keep a secret until Naraku is finshed."

"Keh! She was a fuckin' virgin, monk! You were her first….ah don't look at me like that, like I a stupid bastard or something. I can smell that too! So yeah, I knew already…but since you were her first, she's still tight…and since she's still tight, a fuckin' peanut would feel good to her. She ain't got nothin to compare you to." Inuyasha admonished, virtually shocking Miroku. He could smell that too?

Inuyasha sighed again; his voice lowered a bit more, after his previous outburst. "Look, Miroku, I ain't gonna say anything to Sango, I am smart enough to avoid her fuckin' wrath…but as far as Kagome is concerned…it's not that simple…I mean, yeah there's fuckin Naraku and all…but there is also the fact that…I don't want to fuck up anymore in her life than I already have. She never get's to go to that school of hers…an' she never sees her family. She's always by here- and don't even think about interrupting me! I know what she'd fuckin' say- that it is her choice and all of that shit, but that doesn't mean I feel any better about it. The damn point is, is that she misses out. An' being like that with me would cause her nothin' but trouble. Period, end of fuckin story…" Inuyasha paused, catching his breath.

"It would really hurt her Miroku…I already told ya' I ain't like you humans. Human's average 4-6 inches in length and a few inches in girth…I'm probably lookin' at 7 or so on my human nights, and 8 inches any other time…with a another inch or so girth, I'd fuckin break her. She disserves someone who's normal in every aspect. I'll manage because I always have."

Miroku really did hear all the concern in Inuyasha's voice, however he was simply amazed my Inuyasha's knowledge in the subject, How in the world did he of all people know that? Kagome, though embarrassed to no point in return, was also wondering where Inuyasha's knowledge came from? Not to mention how pissed off she currently was at him for thinking he wasn't good enough for her! The nerve! Okay, so his was well endowed. There was plenty of men that Kagome heard about in school that were bigger than that (not that she had proof) but one of her friends boyfriends were pretty big and she survived the first time. In fact, now the girl bragged about how good it felt when she made love to her boyfriend.

"Inuyasha, please enlighten me on how you suddenly know how men are supposed to be endowed, given the numbers. Please don't take offense to what I am going to say… I was not under the impression you even knew how to read, but clearly you learned that from somewhere…"

Inuyasha blushed realizing just how much information he spilled, stupid sake for making him drunk and touchy-feely with human emotions! Now he really hated the night of the new moon!

"Keh, I can fuckin' read, bouzu! I am not some indigent, mindless dog! My mother taught me all sorts of things…when I go to Kagome's time and she's in school…I get bored waiting. Sometimes I watch her magic picture box and sometimes I read some of the books she has. I have read her math book, history book which fucked up Murmachi period a bit, a strange book about 'kem-i-kools' and stuff I didn't understand. One time I read a book called 'sexual edu-caay-shun' and it talked about women parts, men parts and how to fuck. I mean stuff we have never even thought of….like something that us men have called a 'prah-state' that can get large in old age and can make a man cum. Or that women can have up to 50 orgasms…That's fifty, Miroku can you imagine giving a female 50 orgasms! I only go once or twice, but fifty! Kagome's time is crazy as the seven hells …and there are all sorts of stuff I don't get, still. So there, now you know I ain't as stupid as you and everyone else thinks." Inuyasha proved, crossing his arms across his fire-rat clad chest.

Kagome was impressed to say the least! She knew Inuyasha was smart, but she didn't ever expect to hear him say he had read her school books! Did he really understand them? Could he maybe help her in math? Okay, so the math was stretch. Inuyasha did know how to write and practice basic addition and subtraction, but she was pretty sure he didn't know calculus.

"Wow, I am really astounded, Inuyasha! To hear such stories tonight…one of sweet, Lady Kagome and then another of her wondrous books. She and Sango would be proud to hear that you are not a 'brainless, ramen eating hanyou'. I am curios of these books, especially the one about sexual things of nature. You would not be able to bring such an item on you next trip would you?" Miroku asked with a hopeful voice.

"I'll think about it…if Kagome catches me she'd skin me." Inuyasha groused, stealing a glance at Kagome's way.

Apparently she wasn't quick enough this time to shut her eyes. Inuyasha visually stiffened when his grey eyes met her hazy blue. She hadn't even realized that she had tears in hers until Inuyasha made it be known.

"Ka-Kagome…you're…awake…and cryin'…Did you have a nightmare or something?" Inuyasha asked, silently hoping she's didn't hear the last of his and Miroku's conversation.

"I-I…uh…yeah, Inuyasha…I had a nightmare…I guess…" She offered shakily. She was just so moved by him, learning so much about him in a mere hour…it was as if she heard his soul speak tonight. It was powerful as his physical strength and simply amazing, she couldn't help but cry.

Inuyasha had always thought of himself lowly and negatively, only because that was how the world treated him. They though he was a crude, monster incapable of learning, writing and reading. They thought he lacked any kind of sense or remorse…when in reality Inuyasha was the most human-like person she had ever met. Though parts of his life were less innocent, there also portions that remained untouched, and that was something worth looking into, especially if he was endowed as he said-which reminded her, when did he measure himself and when? It had to have been in her time, after he read the stupid sex education book! She would have to press that later.

Inuyasha didn't look so believing when it came to Kagome's pathetic excuse. He stood, slowly and groggily making his way to her. Miroku snickered as he clumsily stooped down to Kagome's level, losing his balance and falling on his ass. He was trying to be concerned, damn it!

"Oi, asshole! Stop laughing at me! It's you're fucking fault I'm like this, anyway! Can't you see Kagome is cryin'?" He barked at the monk. Inuyasha turned back to Kagome, who didn't expect him to be as close was he was. His dark eyes found hers and it was very hard for her not to blush.

"Kagome…are you really okay…I am sorry if we woke you. I guess we drank a little too much. But don't worry when the sun rises, I ain't going to feel the shit anymore. You can go back to sleep…now…" he offered, lightly brushing a thumb across her left cheek to rid her tear streaks. Kagome couldn't help but cry harder, damn it all.

"I…I'm sorry, Inuyasha….um it just was a scary…dream. I'm okay. You can go back the fire with Miruko." She offered stuttering every word. She was not going to tell him that she had heard their whole, damn conversation!

"Uh…okay, jus' as long as you're okay…" He grumbled. Kagome caught his wrist before he moved away.

"I am really…okay Inuyasha. I just got myself really worked up. Thank you for caring." She smiled, warming his heart.


End file.
